You watch tv and it’s okay that the light is on so I can read next to you. You let me finish the last sip of water in your cup. You silently keep me company just by reading while I do an assignment. You fall asleep waiting for me to finish. You let me pick the movie. You get up to turn the light off. You got me through the hardest time of my life.
You are the love of my life. Thank you.
I don’t know where my life is going, i can barely remember where I’ve been and it doesn’t help that I can’t even recognise where I’m standing now.
When you’re thinking of someone, do you think they know? Do you think they can sense it and are thinking of you too? Maybe somewhere deep in their thoughts you are there. When you are doing something and you stop and wonder what someone else is doing don’t you wish your mind could work like a movie and have a flash into their lives, even if it is just for 10 seconds? Our imaginations can run wild making so many different scenarios but unless you are there with them, you never will know and it drives me crazy inside.
I hate knowing I have let someone down in some way. It’s such a struggle to keep up with everything that sometimes I don’t realize who I neglect. I’m sorry I can’t always be bubbly and kind and up for a hug or a laugh or a long talk. I know that even though I try not to let on my own problems or struggles going on in my life it is no reason to add to anyone else’s. If you are reading this I’m sure you know I am talking to you. I’m not the best at saying sorry and I know that this is not mature or sufficient enough to make up for anything but please understand that I’m trying. My emotions can’t just change like a flip of a switch. Please don’t take it too personally. Please I beg you. I know it isn’t fair for you or anyone else but I’m trying to be myself again and if you try to rush me it just makes me worse.
This is my mothers friend, I have known her and her family including her 18 year old daughter my whole life. This was very special and meant a lot to me: